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Why You Should Date Someone Who Knows MATLAB

Happy Valentines Day! I have been working with the MATLAB community since we launched MATLAB Central wa-aaay back at the beginning of this century. On more than one occasion we have been asked to consider some sort of matchmaking service on the site. While we never acted on this interesting proposition, it does lead to a certain line of reasoning. Namely, what are the romantic possibilities of MATLAB?

With this in mind, we present herewith (and wholly tongue in cheek), ten reasons why you should consider dating someone with a working knowledge of MATLAB.

Please don’t take them too seriously…

Number 1.

With one-based indexing, you’ll always be number one in their heart, never zero.

u = [1 2 3 4]
ans = 1

Number 2.

They can make emoji out of working code. Sort of like making balloon animals.

See the second line below? It reports the first column of the matrix A. Is that just standard MATLAB code? Or is it… a little miner guy with a lamp on his helmet and a turned up nose?

A = invhilb(4);
ans = 4×1


Number 3.

They know how to get abs of steel. Like this.

steel = -17;
ans = 17

Number 4.

They know that being prompt is good, but double prompt is even better.


Number 5.

They know how to give you a seal of approval. Or at least a ceil of approval. Like this.

approval = pi;
ans = 4

Number 6.

They know how to get their ducks in a row. Like this.

% ducks in a (Moler) matrix
ducks =  gallery('moler',3)
ducks = 3×3

     1    -1    -1
    -1     2     0
    -1     0     3

% ducks in a row
ans = 1×9

     1    -1    -1    -1     2     0    -1     0     3

Number 7.

They can draw you a heart (thanks Cleve!). Like this.

h = ezplot('(x^2+y^2-1)^3 = x^2*y^3', ...
h.LineWidth = 5;
colormap([1 0 0])

Number 8.

They have magic built right in. Try it!

% You are the one
u = 1;
% Here is magic for you
ans = 4×4

    16     2     3    13
     5    11    10     8
     9     7     6    12
     4    14    15     1

Number 9.

They know how to make room for you in their life.

% Nothing else matters
close all; clear all
% You are everything
u = inf
u = Inf

Number 10.

MATLAB is for lovers. And if you want to know why, they always have an answer ready.

For the love of a smart and terrified mathematician.
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